Many times we don’t even see this, but the only person who stands in the way of our happiness is us. Only we have the power to do so. It’s like a crime story – you never suspect the actual perpetrator in the beginning of the story. You suspect everyone but them. It’s the same in real life. After all, who would suspect themselves? Why would the victim be the offender?

As you find yourself in the same situation over and over again, there comes a point when you can’t shake the feeling of being the one who sabotages their own happiness.

First, it happens without you noticing it. It’s like you have this secret ability to trip your clueless self up with one firm move.

The first step in preventing that is to focus on the healing of your soul.

If you keep breaking your heart because you ignore the warning signs thinking it will be different this time, it’s actually your job to fix your broken heart. There’s no use in crying over spilt milk. Moaning about how he lied to you and broke your heart isn’t going to solve it.

It’s time for you to take responsibility for your own actions. If you made the decision to go after a person with millions of warning signs screaming at you, it’s hardly his fault that you feel heartbroken.

You can’t keep giving the shattered pieces of your heart to someone to fix it, even if you’re sick and tired of fixing it yourself and you can’t even watch any more. It’s your job to do the healing, you can’t expect others to do it for you.

So how to break your heart over and over again?

Just go back to the person who keeps hurting you. Choose a person who lets you sob in silence without waking up to the sounds of you crying, or someone who turns away so that they wouldn’t have to deal with you.

Go back and expect the story to end differently this time. Hope for things you know are never going to happen.

This is how to break your heart: just give it to someone with slippery fingers.

Or keep rejecting the right people as you’re still waiting for him who gave up on you, making you believe that’s what you deserve. It’s like you’re rejecting everyone who looks brave enough to stay because you’re not ready for someone who stays.

Another good way to keep breaking your heart is to not give it time to heal properly. Rebounds are never a good idea. You can’t expect a new love to fix you. That’s not how it works. Not until you can let go of your past and start believing you deserve more than a fling.

It’s also easy to break your heart when you can’t look in the mirror and face yourself. You must identify your mistakes in order to be able to work on your weaknesses. You need to be able to follow your heart even if it has misled you before.

We often think about that perfect relationship when we can finally be with someone but forget to focus on our relationship with ourselves. Self-love is powerful, don’t forget about it.

It also helps to acknowledge the fact that it’s not always others who mess up – you reap what you sow, and that’s true for love. You can’t expect him to love you to the moon and back when you don’t love yourself. He can’t love you if you keep wishing for a different body, a different soul or a different mind.

You keep breaking your heart by not taking care of it. It’s not the men who reject you; it’s you when you decide you’re not enough.

One of my favourite quotes is from Rudy Francisco. He says

“Maybe we are to love ourselves so fiercely that when others see us, they know exactly how to love us”.

If you learn to love yourself like this, things will get a lot easier. Believe me.

• heartbreak love self-love

---

Share this article.